How to plan and organise contact time with family to reduce stress and make it a positive experience for the child.
What is contact time with family?
Learn what contact time with family is and how you can make it a positive experience for a child.
This advice applies to: England and Wales
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Overview
Contact is time that a child spends with their family. That usually means their parents, but can also include the child’s siblings, grandparents, aunts and uncles, family friends and even school friends. Contact is organised in advance of time, and happens at an agreed, regular time and place.
Every situation is different, and managing contact with family can sometimes be challenging. Always keep the child’s welfare in mind when making decisions and try to involve them in the process as much as possible.
Why contact time with family is important
Contact time with family and friends brings many benefits to the child you care for.
Although arrangements can sometimes be challenging, on-going family relationships can be one of the best things about kinship care.
Family contact time can help the child to:
• retain some form of contact and connection with their parents and siblings
• maintain a sense of identity, culture and heritage
• settle into the placement and adjust to family life
• feel reassured about the wellbeing of their parents and that they haven’t abandoned them
• develop an understanding of their parents and their situation
Many kinship carers find that their wider family networks are a source of real strength and support. The child may want to spend time with other family members, giving you more flexibility and creating a stronger family unit for the child.
Awareness of how trauma and attachment might be affecting your child is important for managing contact. It’s crucial the child can form an attachment with you as their primary carer. Any contact arrangements should not harm this relationship.
If your relationship with the parents is strained, you could ask a family member to supervise contact arrangements. You can also ask your or the child’s social worker for support with this. You do not necessarily need to be present at contact, as long as it is safe and in the best interests of the child.
How contact time with family works
How you arrange contact with family will depend on what type of kinship care arrangement you have. A court may have made a contact plan, which should include information on how contact time should work. Either you, the parents or children’s services may initiate making arrangements for contact, depending on your legal status and the type of kinship carer you are.
Ideally, the arrangements need to be decided together, taking into consideration the needs of everyone involved, in the best interests of the child. But this can be difficult, especially if the children are placed with you in an emergency and if children’s services are involved.
Informal contact arrangements are a decision made between you, the parents, or anyone else, as appropriate. Arrangements should consider the wishes of the child wherever possible. You might find it useful to put together an informal contact agreement.
If you have any problems with contact through informal kinship care you can reach out to Kinship for advice.
The Children Act 1989 states that there should be continued contact between the child and their parents while the child is looked after by the local authority: as long as it is in the best interests of the child. Contact with the child’s parents should be part of the discussion during the creation of the child’s care plan.
There are government guidelines for local authorities in arranging contact for looked-after children. These guidelines say the wishes of the child should be heard, and children should be helped to communicate their wishes where possible.
If your child arrangements order specifies who the child should spend time with (this was previously called a contact order), then, legally, you need to comply with this.
You might be breaking the order if you change contact arrangements. If this is the case speak with your solicitor.
You can stop the arrangement if it is a risk to the child (even if this breaks the order). You must let children’s services, and the court know if you change the arrangement in this case. You might be worried about parents taking you back to court to have the original contact arrangement enforced. The court may not make an enforcement order if it is satisfied that the person had a reasonable excuse for not continuing with original arrangement. Always seek legal advice if you are unsure.
As part of the assessment to become a special guardian, children’s services will create a support plan with your input. The contact arrangement will include guidelines on how contact arrangements should go. It should also detail how you can access support with contact if you need it in the future.
Once a special guardianship order is made, special guardians are given the trust by the court to manage the contact arrangements. It is the responsibility of special guardians to monitor, agree and adapt the contact arrangements to make sure they are in the child’s best interests.
If you need support with contact arrangements, you can get back in touch with children’s services to ask for support.
Legal arrangements for contact
If you’ve been involved in legal proceedings, it’s advisable to talk with your solicitor about whether contact arrangements have to be followed legally (because they are a court order) or they can be adapted to suit the child as circumstances change (because they were a court direction).
Court directions advise the parties to follow the support/contact plan.
Court orders are prescriptive, giving exact details of how contact should take place, for example, frequency, level of supervision.
Types of contact
Contact might be meeting face to face, or communicating by text, via social media or online gaming.
Most contact is for a set amount of time and usually a short visit, though can also include an overnight stay. The child can spend time with their family in person, with you or another trusted adult there with them.
Connection with family can also be keeping pictures of family or talking about family members, memories and traditions.
In some cases, you may want to arrange contact time at a dedicated contact centre or help organise an activity. Find a contact centre from the National Association of Child Contact Centres (NACCC).
Reviewing arrangements
A child’s needs will develop over time and so contact arrangements need to be reviewed and adapted. A baby or young child will need safe, predictable routines. An older child or teenager will need encouragement, boundaries and responsibility.
Support from Kinship
Here at Kinship, we offer a range of free support for all kinship carers, including workshops, online advice and information, and support groups.
Contact the Kinship advice team to speak to an adviser or book an appointment.
Find services, information and support in your local area using our Kinship Compass, including information about your local children’s services.
Related advice and information
How to support a child and help them get ready for a positive experience when spending contact time with family.
If you are a family member or friend raising a child on behalf of their parents, legal advice will help you understand what your rights are.
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