Learn about life story work – what it is, when to consider it, techniques to carry it out (and get support), as well as how it can help kinship children build a positive self-image.
Using stories to discuss emotions and identity in your kinship family
Reading with the children in your care can help create joyful moments and happy memories. It can also help you explore topics like identity and coping with difficult emotions. In this guide, you'll learn how you can use stories to start these discussions.
This advice applies to: England
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The benefits of sharing stories with the children in your care
Sharing stories is a great way to connect with the child in your care. It can create joyful moments and give you a chance to laugh and talk together. It can have a lifelong positive impact on a child’s life in different ways:
- supporting their emotional wellbeing by providing an opportunity to explore difficult feelings with some distance
- a routine of sharing stories regularly can support their feelings of security and familiarity
- the shared experience of reading together can build a bond and trust between you and your kinship child
Find out more about the benefits of sharing stories from BookTrust.
Dance Just Like So! by Annemarie Anang and Natelle Quek, about a grandparent and child’s relationship, is perfect for starting conversations about emotions or identity.
Enjoy the story, read by Annemarie, with the child in your care.
Tips for sharing stories about emotions and identity
Offering your child choices when getting ready to share a story can be a great way to get started.
Annemarie gives the example of “where are you going to sit?” You and your child can then start to feel ready to spend time together, sharing and talking about a story.
While reading, you can ask questions about the book.
Annemarie uses the example of “I wonder how Kwesi feels at the moment. What do you think?” These questions can spark conversations about the character’s emotions or experiences.
Sometimes, a character’s experiences may be like yours or your child’s experiences. Seeing similar experiences in a story can help a child understand their own situation.
You can say these similarities out loud and your child might want to do the same. For example, you might live with your grandson like Gran and your child might live with a grandparent like Kwesi.
Your child might want to return to specific pages or walk around the room while listening.
Annemarie says that she likes to get comfortable before reading a story, knowing that some children might prefer to walk around or play with a toy during a story.
Book recommendations
These tips can be used with any book. Here are some great recommendations for discussing emotions and identity with the child in your care. They include books that can help children explore difficult emotions and better understand their situation.
Books for younger children
- Cub by Jonty Howley – a heartwarming story where Magnus goes to live with his grandparents
- Barbara Throws a Wobbler by Nadia Shireen – a funny story about having a grumpy day and managing your emotions
- The Great Big Book of Families by Mary Hoffman and Ros Asquith – a non-fiction book showcasing a diverse mix of families
- Is That Your Mama? by Patrice Lawrence and Diane Ewen – an empowering story with the message that you don’t have to explain your family to anyone
Books for older children
- Why Do I Feel Like This? by Shinsuke Yoshitake – a funny illustrated story about a girl working through her emotions
- A Tricky Kind of Magic by Nigel Baines – an action-packed graphic novel about loss and grief
- You Are a Champion by Marcus Rashford and Carl Anka – empowering non-fiction about being the best you can be
All of these books should be available from a public library or good bookshop. If you join one of the online workshops on sharing stories to discuss emotions and identity, you’ll be able to select one of these books to keep for free.
More story videos
Enjoy 2 more videos with stories and activities to share with your child below. Watch and draw along with George Webster (Why Not?), Adam Stower (Murray and Bun) and Sue Hendra (Supertato) in these 2 videos.
All your child needs in order to take part is a pen and some paper.
Support
Support from Kinship
Here at Kinship, we offer a range of free support for all kinship carers, including workshops, online advice and information, and peer support groups.
To find services, information and support in your local area, including information about your local children’s services, use our Kinship Compass tool.
You can also contact the Kinship advice team for free, non-judgmental advice and information.
Support from BookTrust
This guide has been written by BookTrust, the UK’s largest reading charity.
Discover more tips, support and book recommendations from Booktrust.
Help with reading and literacy
ReadEasy UK offer free, confidential, 1-to-1 reading coaching for adults who want to learn to read. To get support for yourself or someone you know, find out more from Read Easy UK.
Related advice and information
Tools and techniques to help the child you care for to learn how to self-soothe and regulate their emotions in a healthy way.
Anger is a normal, healthy emotion that everyone has. But sometimes anger can seem unkind, aggressive and even frightening. Here are some practical tips to spot, manage and get support with anger issues.
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