Aunt kinship carer from London and Kinship’s Growth & Inclusion Lead

I am raising my niece. She has been with me since she was a baby. For me it was a no brainer to step in.

My mum came to the UK from the West Indies with my grandparents when she was 14. For me my relationship with kinship care began with them because they had to leave their home and their other eight children living with other family members, until they could bring them all to the UK.

Kinship care, although we didn’t have that word for it at the time, was something that was in my family on both sides. My dad was also brought up by his relatives. As a culture it’s something we’re really used to. I’ve also learned it is similar within Asian communities, not just Caribbean families. It’s just how we are. We have family networks and we all rope in.

I think the difference between those arrangements and the kinship care I’ve stepped into today is that there weren’t any social constraints. There were no problems related to mental health or issues with drugs or alcohol. It was just because of migration. I also realised just recently that I was raised in kinship care by a family friend for a year. It’s interesting because there are aspects of your life that aren’t really in the forefront of your mind all the time. It did leave quite a mark on my life and how I navigate the world today.

I was recently reunited with my old boss for the first job I ever had. I worked in a youth apprenticeship training scheme and he reminded me of the nickname that I had – Militant Max. I’d totally forgotten but I think it just summarises me. I hate injustice and when things are not right. I find it hard not to say something. When I became a kinship carer there were so many things that weren’t right. There was a lack of information and I also felt like I was misdirected too in terms of navigating the legal journey. I became very vocal and I just used to turn up at places to share my experience and knowledge.

I had to give up my job when I became a kinship carer and that didn’t sit right with me not being part of the workforce. So I attended lots of Kinship peer support group meetings, although at the time there were very few groups, and I would just share information. I was always learning new things and wanted to share it with other kinship carers. It became like a job to me.

I eventually began working with six local authorities in North London supporting kinship carers via peer support. I then joined Kinship, which was then called Grandparents Plus. I was able to meet amazing people at Kinship like Janice in the North East and visit once a month to learn and share knowledge about support for kinship carers.

I then joined a panel which eventually because the Kinship Care Reference Group led by the Department for Education. This came about after I brought six other kinship carers with me along to a meeting with government officials in Camden. The conversation focused almost completely on adoption and all of us just raised our hand and asked, ‘well what about us?’

What drives me to sit on these panels is sitting in peer support groups on an almost daily basis and listening to the stories of kinship carers. There’s still a great deal to do. It’s heartbreaking because I’m hearing similar stories now to when I did when I started the journey 15 years ago. I want to relay those experiences to government and drive policy and practice change.

In the role at Kinship I’ve also been a conduit between kinship carers taking part in opportunities like media interviews and research. So many of the people who are part of our #ValueOurLove campaigning sit in these peer support groups.

I sometimes struggle to be very vocal about it but I do feel very proud of what I’ve done over the years and to be included in the King’s Honours in 2025. It was a great honour and privilege to receive this because of my work. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without the kinship carers that I’ve met, supported and learned from over the years.

In the past, our organisation has often reached kinship families that are predominantly white. While we have always supported kinship carers from diverse communities, they can be quite candid in stepping forward and being public facing. That’s why it’s been great to see research projects like ‘Raised by Relatives’ where Black and Asian kinship carers have been able to lend their voices and generate greater understanding in diverse communities.

In my Growth and Inclusion role at Kinship my eyes have really being opened as to how diverse communities operate. One of the most recent learnings for me is that ‘kinship care’ doesn’t really translate into a lot of languages. We’ve had to work on ways to explain it and talk people through it. I’m really pleased with the work our research team has been doing to support this understanding.

In the future I want to see more cultural awareness among professionals working with kinship families as well as more understanding into how different cultures interpret and apply things. Professional need to be sensitive to that in their approach.

I am currently trying to grow diverse peer support groups for kinship carers in diverse communities. So I am identifying how people gather, what they want for that particular space and also just finding people who want to come along. I am really at a place of trying to understand and learn at the moment. What I’ve found is emails don’t work. What does work, and what I love doing, is doorstepping. I’ve been amazed at what conversations have been able to produce. What chatting can do to connect with diverse communities.