Meet Heather and Nick

Grandparents Heather, 60, and Nick, 59, are raising their four grandchildren in their home in London with the help of their eldest daughter Sholeena mum to Natarlea, 21 and Stella, 15.

Their four kinship grandchildren are called Jasmine, 16, William, 13 and twins Josh and Ariana who are 11.

They share a 4-bedroom property with the girls sharing one room and the boys another. Nick has recently retired from his renal co-ordinator manager job covering nine hospitals.

Heather said; “When we first took on the children, no-one was there to help us with anything. We were on our own with no-one to talk to in a similar position. We were just left to get on with raising them.

“We first became kinship carers in 2011. Jasmine was 10 months old when social services became involved and asked us if we’d take care of her, otherwise they said she would go into care. I thought ‘you’re not taking her, she’s our child’. We weren’t going to have grandchildren out there not knowing who was looking after them’.

“Then William was born and we had to make the decision there and then whether we could take him on too as a newborn baby. They said you have 24 hours to decide. If you can’t we need to start processing paperwork for his adoption. Of course we agreed to take care of him too.

“Then the same happened with the twins and they said if we couldn’t take them, they would be split up and adopted. Again, we had to decide immediately, and it was difficult as Jasmine was 3 years old,

William was just 16 months old and still in nappies and needed my 24-hour attention. We weren’t sure if we were physically able to do it, but we said ‘yes’.

“It was a struggle and a juggle back then. I had to concentrate on getting through each day with the help of my daughter. I would be checking on them in the middle of the night to make sure they were ok. I just got used to living on very little sleep.

“It was a conveyor belt of nappy changes and bottle feeds. I would have the twins either side of me with a bottle in each hand. I needed more arms. Logistically it was very difficult and very tiring.

“I was doing all the childcare with my daughter’s help and Nick was at work and did the shopping and cooking and that’s how we managed.

“We didn’t have anyone around us in terms of support. Social services said we needed to get a solicitor which they paid for, but we didn’t get any financial support for two years. We didn’t know we were entitled to a financial allowance; we weren’t told anything. We were left in the dark trying to find our way through.

“The lack of support and information for kinship carers like us was really bad. We had seven years of non-stop meetings, court proceedings and social services planning but no support. Nick had to take time off work to attend the various meetings. If we’d had paid leave from work that would have really helped us settle the children into their new lives.

“We only found out about kinship support from the charity Kinship at a peer support meeting for kinship carers a few years ago which was amazing.

“We now run our own peer support group in once a month. We know what it feels like to be left out in the cold and we can help other kinship families. We’re a great support for each other and understand what we’re all going through.

“Our grandchildren are great kids and they’re all doing really well. But kinship carers shouldn’t have to battle their way through without any help. We have been through it and can help other kinship carers who are starting on their journey but there should be proper support for them. People are really struggling. One lady who is caring for her grandson said she has to wear his cast-off clothes because she can’t afford any for herself. That’s the sad reality for some kinship carers.”