Meet Clive

Derby kinship carer Clive became a special guardian to his 9-year-old niece Savannah after she came into his care when she was just a few weeks old.

Clive, 41, said: “I was working as an executive headteacher of a school when I received a call from social care asking whether I could take my baby niece Savannah into my care. I was given virtually no notice and had only a matter of hours to process what was happening, think about what it would mean and prepare to care for a newborn baby.

“I remember being worried that if I didn’t say yes immediately, my niece would go into foster care and that once she entered the care system, I might not be able to get her back out. It was an enormous, life-changing decision, but it didn’t feel as though I had the luxury of time to make it.

“In ordinary circumstances, when you’re expecting a baby, you have around nine months to prepare. I had hours. I didn’t have a cot, a pushchair or any of the things you would normally have ready for a newborn baby. There was no time to prepare practically and very little time to process emotionally how completely my life was about to change.

“I was very lucky. As an executive headteacher leading a local authority school, I had an incredibly supportive employer and governing body who gave me some paid leave and flexible working arrangements while I adjusted to caring for my niece alongside a demanding leadership role.

“But there was no established paid kinship care leave entitlement. I still had a career, a home, a mortgage and bills to pay, so somehow I had to make everything work.

“I was also surrounded by an amazing group of friends who are like family to me. They rallied around immediately and helped get everything we needed in place. That support was invaluable.

“A significant majority of kinship carers will not have an employer able to respond in that way and, for some, suddenly taking responsibility for a child can have a profound impact on their employment and finances. Support shouldn’t depend on who you work for, what job you do or whether you have friends and family able to rally around you.

“I also had a lovely social worker called Kate who really advocated for us and tried to secure support wherever she could. I think that’s important to acknowledge because there are good people within the system trying incredibly hard for families. But local authority budgets are stretched and resources are limited, so there was only so much she could do. In many respects, we simply had to make do and find our own way through.

“I still remember my niece arriving at my home. She was fast asleep in her carry chair, wrapped in a little pink blanket and completely oblivious to everything happening around her.

“When my niece’s social worker left and the door closed, suddenly it was just the two of us. I looked at this tiny, sleepy, beautiful baby and just burst into tears. I think that was the moment the enormity of it all really hit me. My life had completely changed in the space of a few hours.

“She still has that same pink blanket to this day. She uses it almost like a pillow when she goes to bed and simply won’t sleep without it. It has been with her throughout her childhood and has become such a source of comfort to her. I genuinely don’t know what we’d do if she ever lost it.

“There’s something quite special about the fact that the little blanket she was wrapped in when she first arrived is still with her all these years later. For me, it’s a reminder of just how tiny she was when she came into my care and of everything we’ve been through together since.

“Before long, my niece became part of my working life too. I remember delivering a staff training day with her in my arms while giving her a bottle. The staff were absolutely mesmerised by it all.

“There were also times when I took her into school in her Moses basket because I simply didn’t have another option. That experience says a lot about kinship care. Families often step forward at a point of crisis and then have to work out childcare, employment, finances and family life afterwards. You’re expected to make this enormous adjustment almost overnight.

“As my niece has grown older, the challenges have naturally changed too. Kinship care isn’t simply about providing a safe and loving home. Children grow up, their understanding develops and they can have questions about their family, their experiences, their identity and where they belong. Kinship carers need the right information and support to help children navigate those questions sensitively.

“My niece is a happy, sassy and beautiful little girl. It’s wonderful to see. We do lots of fun things together and I love her very much.

“She also has a good relationship with her parents and sees them regularly. I’m her uncle and that’s what she calls me. Her mum and dad remain her mum and dad. I think that distinction is really important for her. Kinship care is about family, relationships and giving children security while helping them understand and maintain their sense of who they are and where they come from.

“Kinship families need so much more support than they currently receive. When you take a baby or child into your care during a family crisis, you don’t know what their needs will be then, let alone what they might be five or ten years later. You haven’t had time to think about it. At the beginning, you’re often just trying to get through one day at a time.

“I work in education and am much more au fait with the system than many kinship carers, but even I’ve found it exhausting and complicated to navigate, particularly around access to free school meals, additional therapeutic support, interventions and specialist services. You feel as though you’re constantly having to repeat yourself, jump hurdles, chase professionals and battle to get the right support and information.

“Kinship carers don’t necessarily receive the wraparound support that comes with other forms of foster care, yet we can be caring for children who have experienced many of the same challenges. Too often, kinship families are left to navigate it for themselves.

“Kinship carers step forward because they love the children in their families and want to give them security, stability and a sense of family belonging. But love alone shouldn’t be expected to fill gaps in the system.

“If kinship care is genuinely considered to be in the best interests of a child, then surely supporting the kinship family who steps forward to care for them must be in their best interests too. That means the right financial support, educational and well-being support for children and their kinship families, access to respite care, and proper employment support, including paid kinship care leave that doesn’t depend on the goodwill of individual employers.”