Anger is a normal, healthy emotion that everyone has. But sometimes anger can seem unkind, aggressive and even frightening. Here are some practical tips to spot, manage and get support with anger issues.
Understanding and managing stress
Stress is a common experience for kinship carers, who often face unique challenges in caring for children who have been through difficult experiences. Here is how to recognise the signs of stress and some practical tips for managing it effectively.
This advice applies to: England and Wales
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Kinship carers are family or friends who step up to care for a child when their parents are not able to, often during an unexpected crisis.
And in that moment, a commitment is made. To bring love and stability to a child, even as you navigate the stresses that can come with caregiving.
Understanding stress
Stress is how our bodies and minds naturally react to challenging situations or demands. For kinship carers, stress can come from many sources. For example, worrying about finances, a lack of space or managing a child’s anger or anxiety. While feeling stressed is normal, it is important to manage it so that it doesn’t take a toll on health and wellbeing.
Types of stress
Positive stress
This is short-term stress that comes from specific events, such as an unexpected visit from a social worker or a sudden change in the child’s behaviour. While it can be intense, positive stress is usually brief and can help you adapt to new situations.
Tolerable stress
Tolerable stress occurs when you face challenging situations over a longer period, such as ongoing responsibilities, financial pressures, or the cumulative effects of caring for a child with special needs. With the right support, you can manage tolerable stress without it leading to long-term harm.
Toxic stress
Toxic stress happens when stress becomes overwhelming and persistent, especially when there is no support system in place. This can occur if you are frequently managing multiple demands, like balancing work, personal life, and caregiving. If not addressed, toxic stress can lead to serious health issues.
Common causes of stress for kinship carers
Many kinship children have experienced significant trauma, including abuse, neglect, or loss of a parent. Caring for a child significantly affected by trauma can be emotionally demanding and stressful.
Kinship carers often face financial strain, especially if they have to give up work or reduce their hours to care for a child.
Navigating the legal system, dealing with social services, and managing paperwork can be overwhelming and confusing.
Many kinship carers feel isolated and unsupported, particularly if they do not have access to adequate resources or peer support groups.
Recognising the signs and symptoms of stress
Understanding the signs of stress is crucial, as unmanaged stress can affect our ability to provide stable, loving care.
Emotional and psychological symptoms include:
- anxiety – persistent worry, particularly about the child’s future or behaviour
- irritability – increased frustration or anger, often due to feeling overwhelmed
- depression – feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or loss of interest in activities that used to bring joy
- overwhelm – feeling unable to cope with daily tasks or the emotional demands of caregiving
- difficulty concentrating – trouble focusing on tasks, which can affect decision-making and caregiving
Physical symptoms include:
- fatigue – persistent tiredness that does not improve with rest, often linked to the demands of caregiving
- sleep problems – difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up feeling unrefreshed
- appetite changes – overeating or loss of appetite, which can impact overall health
- muscle tension – commonly in the neck, shoulders, and back, often due to the physical demands of caregiving and stress
Unmanaged stress can have long-term effects on our health, including:
- mental health Issues – chronic stress can lead to anxiety disorders, depression, and burnout, making it harder to provide care
- physical health problems – high levels of stress can lead to heart problems, weakened ability to fight off illness and disease, and other health issues
- impact on caregiving – stress can reduce our ability to provide consistent, nurturing care, which is vital for children who have experienced trauma
Supporting yourself while managing stress
Caring for a child, especially one who has experienced trauma, can be emotionally demanding. It is essential to recognise the impact that stress can have on your wellbeing. It is important for kinship carers to recognise their own needs and take time for self-care. This includes setting boundaries, seeking help when needed, and making time for activities that bring joy and relaxation. Taking steps to manage stress is not just about helping yourself but also ensuring you can provide the best care for the child.
Talking to someone who understands what you are going through can make a big difference. Consider seeking advice, joining a peer support group, or connecting with others in similar situations.
Speak to someone like you
Want to talk to someone who understands what you’re experiencing as a kinship carer? Our specially trained kinship carer volunteers are here to listen through our free Someone Like Me service.
View Speak to someone like you
Support groups
Our peer support groups will help you get the support you need and connect with other kinship carers in your local area.
View Support groups
Contact the Kinship advice team
Find out more about our advice service, how they can help, and how to get in touch with them.
View Contact the Kinship advice teamOrganisations that can help
If stress is becoming overwhelming, it is important to seek professional support. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 999 for urgent help.
Several organisations offer resources, support, and advice for managing stress.
Carers UK provides advice and support for carers, including tips for managing stress and accessing resources. They also offer a helpline for practical and emotional support.
Mind is a national charity that provides advice and support to anyone experiencing a mental health problem. They offer information on stress and how to manage it effectively.
Rethink Mental Illness offers support for those dealing with mental health issues, including stress. They provide resources and local support groups to help you cope.
Samaritans is a 24/7 helpline that offers confidential support to anyone feeling distressed or overwhelmed. You can call them any time on 116 123 to talk about what is on your mind.
YoungMinds Parents Helpline – for advice on child mental health issues
NSPCC Helpline – for concerns about child safety and wellbeing
Shout Text Service – 24/7 support via text by messaging “Shout” to 85258
Childline – for children and young people to talk about any difficulties they may be facing
Support from Kinship
Here at Kinship, we offer a range of free support for all kinship carers, including workshops, online advice and information, and support groups.
Contact the Kinship advice team to speak to an adviser or book an appointment.
Find services, information and support in your local area using our Kinship Compass, including information about your local children’s services.
Related advice and information
Anxiety is a normal human emotion. But having too much anxiety can cause issues. Here are some practical tips to spot, manage and get support with anxiety.
This page explores how to recognise the signs and symptoms of trauma, as well as practical tips for supporting children in kinship care.
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