Understanding and managing stress

Understanding stress

Stress is how our bodies and minds naturally react to challenging situations or demands. For kinship carers, stress can come from many sources. For example, worrying about finances, a lack of space or managing a child’s anger or anxiety. While feeling stressed is normal, it is important to manage it so that it doesn’t take a toll on health and wellbeing.

Types of stress

Positive stress

This is short-term stress that comes from specific events, such as an unexpected visit from a social worker or a sudden change in the child’s behaviour. While it can be intense, positive stress is usually brief and can help you adapt to new situations.

Tolerable stress

Tolerable stress occurs when you face challenging situations over a longer period, such as ongoing responsibilities, financial pressures, or the cumulative effects of caring for a child with special needs. With the right support, you can manage tolerable stress without it leading to long-term harm.

Toxic stress

Toxic stress happens when stress becomes overwhelming and persistent, especially when there is no support system in place. This can occur if you are frequently managing multiple demands, like balancing work, personal life, and caregiving. If not addressed, toxic stress can lead to serious health issues.

Recognising the signs and symptoms of stress

Understanding the signs of stress is crucial, as unmanaged stress can affect our ability to provide stable, loving care.

Emotional and psychological symptoms include:

• anxiety – persistent worry, particularly about the child’s future or behaviour
• irritability – increased frustration or anger, often due to feeling overwhelmed
• depression – feelings of sadness, hopelessness, or loss of interest in activities that used to bring joy
• overwhelm – feeling unable to cope with daily tasks or the emotional demands of caregiving
• difficulty concentrating – trouble focusing on tasks, which can affect decision-making and caregiving

Physical symptoms include:

• fatigue – persistent tiredness that does not improve with rest, often linked to the demands of caregiving
• sleep problems – difficulty falling asleep, staying asleep, or waking up feeling unrefreshed
• appetite changes – overeating or loss of appetite, which can impact overall health
• muscle tension – commonly in the neck, shoulders, and back, often due to the physical demands of caregiving and stress

Unmanaged stress can have long-term effects on our health, including:

• mental health Issues – chronic stress can lead to anxiety disorders, depression, and burnout, making it harder to provide care
• physical health problems – high levels of stress can lead to heart problems, weakened ability to fight off illness and disease, and other health issues
• impact on caregiving – stress can reduce our ability to provide consistent, nurturing care, which is vital for children who have experienced trauma

Supporting yourself while managing stress

Caring for a child, especially one who has experienced trauma, can be emotionally demanding. It is essential to recognise the impact that stress can have on your wellbeing. It is important for kinship carers to recognise their own needs and take time for self-care. This includes setting boundaries, seeking help when needed, and making time for activities that bring joy and relaxation. Taking steps to manage stress is not just about helping yourself but also ensuring you can provide the best care for the child.

Talking to someone who understands what you are going through can make a big difference. Consider seeking advice, joining a peer support group, or connecting with others in similar situations.

Organisations that can help

If stress is becoming overwhelming, it is important to seek professional support. If anyone is in immediate danger, call 999 for urgent help.

Several organisations offer resources, support, and advice for managing stress.

Support from Kinship

Here at Kinship, we offer a range of free support for all kinship carers, including  workshops, online advice and information, and support groups.

To find services, information and support in your local area, including information about your local children’s services, use our Kinship Compass tool.

You can also contact the Kinship advice team for free, non-judgmental advice and information if you live in England or Wales.