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Supporting children and young people with trauma
Many kinship children experience trauma. Here’s how to recognise the signs and symptoms of trauma, as well as practical tips for supporting children in kinship care.
This advice applies to: England and Wales
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Kinship carers are family or friends who step up to care for a child when their parents aren’t able to. Often during an unexpected crisis.
And in that moment a commitment is made. To bring love and hope to a child who has experienced trauma, no matter what.
Supporting a child through trauma can be tough emotionally. You may have experienced trauma yourself at some point in your life. Helping a child through trauma can bring back painful memories and feelings so it’s important to recognise this, acknowledge it and get support for yourself.
You may find it helpful to speak to someone who knows what you’re going through. Get advice, join a peer support group or speak to someone like you.
Understanding trauma
Trauma can occur when we encounter something that is very stressful, frightening or distressing. Trauma can be the result of a single incident, such as a loved one dying suddenly, or from prolonged, repeated experiences over time, such as a parent who has a substance abuse issue.
Because everyone is unique, trauma affects people in different ways. Children, however, are particularly impacted by trauma because they are still developing their emotional and psychological resilience.
Understanding Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)
Types of trauma experienced in childhood are known as Adverse Childhood Experiences or ACEs. The more ACEs a child experiences, the higher the likelihood of physical and mental health issues. Examples of experiences that could result in childhood trauma are:
- being exposed to violence, either as a witness or a victim
- the death of a loved one or prolonged separation from family
- being involved in, or witnessing, a serious accident or life-threatening situation
- experiencing physical, emotional, or sexual abuse, and neglect
- problems at home, such as divorce, domestic violence, or substance abuse
How to recognise trauma in children
Trauma can present itself in different ways, depending on the child’s age. It can affect how they form relationships and friendships. Being able to spot the potential signs of trauma means that you can support the child and get support yourself.
Emotional and psychological symptoms
Can include:
- constantly worrying, feeling anxious and being fearful about safety
- a persistent sadness and a lack of interest in activities (depression)
- unexplained anger, irritability, and frustration
- feelings of self-blame, shame, guilt, and unworthiness
- difficulty concentrating, focusing, and remembering details
- going back to earlier developmental stages (for example, bedwetting, thumb sucking, being clingy)
Physical symptoms
Can include:
- always feeling tired and lacking energy
- trouble sleeping (insomnia) or frequent nightmares
- changes in eating habits, such as overeating or loss of appetite
- unexplained physical aches and pains
- being overly alert and easily startled
Types of trauma
There are many different types of trauma. Below are some of the types of trauma that the child, or children, you care for may be experiencing.
Early childhood trauma
Early childhood trauma refers to traumatic experiences that children aged 0 to 6 may go through. Because babies and young children are generally unable to verbalise their reaction to a traumatic event, many people assume that they haven’t been affected by it. But children are particularly vulnerable to trauma due to their developing brains and emotional systems.
Childhood trauma can have lasting effects, particularly if the child didn’t receive support to cope with it at the time or if the trauma was prolonged, such as experiencing abuse or neglect.
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54% of kinship carers said their children had experienced abuse or neglect before coming to live with them (Cost of Loving, 2022)
Generational or intergenerational trauma
This is a type of trauma that is passed down through generations within a family, culture, or group. A parent, or carer, who is experiencing trauma from the past can influence the mental health of the children in their care. Generational or intergenerational trauma shapes the environment in which a child is raised.
Secondary trauma
Secondary trauma is indirect exposure to trauma through close contact with someone who has experienced a traumatic event. For example, a child is not being abused directly, but they are often a witness to the domestic abuse of their mother.
How to support children and young people with trauma
Understanding and addressing trauma is essential for healing and recovery. With the right support and resources, children in kinship care can find healthier ways to cope and rebuild their lives.
Use the PACE model
PACE stands for Playfulness, Acceptance, Curiosity, Empathy. The PACE model is particularly helpful for younger children as it is based on how parents connect with infants. It’s a way of thinking, feeling, communicating and behaving that aims to make the child feel safe. It focuses on the whole child, not just the behaviour. It helps children feel more secure with adults and helps them to reflect upon themselves, their thoughts, feelings and behaviour.
Find out more about how to use the PACE model.
Consider counselling
Your child may benefit from therapy or counselling with a mental health professional. Depending on the age of your child, you may wish to talk to them about considering support from a professional. You may wish to speak with your GP or contact your local Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) about getting support.
Read more about CAMHS on YoungMinds website.
Adoption and special guardianship support fund
Some kinship carers can get financial support from the adoption and special guardianship support fund for essential therapeutic services. This could be creative therapies, life story work, family therapy and therapeutic short breaks. Find out more about the adoption and special guardianship support fund in our guide.
Establish routines
Regular routines can provide a sense of normalcy and control. This will also help your child to feel safe and secure.
Organise healthy activities
There are lots of activities that promote wellbeing, such as exercise or hobbies. But everyone is unique, so it is important to find an activity that works for your child and that they find fun and enjoyable.
Organisations that can help
If trauma is causing significant and ongoing distress or harm to your child, seek professional help. If anyone is in immediate risk of harm, phone 999 for urgent help.
There are several organisations that offer information, advice or support around mental health and/or trauma.
YoungMinds is a national charity offering mental health support and advice for young people and parents. Their Parents Helpline is open Monday to Friday, 9:30am to 4pm. Call them on 0808 802 5544. Or you can chat to them online.
Shout is a free, confidential, 24/7 text messaging service for anyone in the UK who needs support. If you are struggling to cope, talk to their trained Shout Volunteers. To start a conversation, text the word ‘Shout’ to 85258.
Anna Freud is a charity that has been supporting children and young people’s mental health for over 70 years. They have several resources on their website to help with trauma.
Parent Talk provides free and confidential online chat support for parents and carers in the UK. Chat on webchat or on WhatsApp.
Childline is a free service for children and young people to talk to a counsellor about anything. No problem is too big or too small. The service is available 24/7, 7 days a week. Call 116 111 or chat online.
Related advice on this topic
Anxiety is a normal human emotion. But having too much anxiety can cause issues. Here are some practical tips to spot, manage and get support with anxiety.
Tools and techniques to help the child you care for to learn how to self-soothe and regulate their emotions in a healthy way.
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