Keeping children in kinship care safe online

What children enjoy about being online

The internet can be a fantastic place for everyone, providing children and young people with exciting opportunities. Whether children have their own devices or access shared technology at school, online and day-to-day life often intertwine.

Children can enjoy many different online activities, depending on interests, age and technology access. Popular online activities include:

• browsing social media
• messaging friends and family
• online shopping
• participating in online, interest-based communities
• playing games alone or with others (who they may know, or not)
• researching topics and interests
• streaming music, films and TV shows
• watching videos

The internet and technology can provide many opportunities for:

• entertainment
• developing new skills, including:
  • collaboration
  • teamwork
• learning new things
• relaxation
• socialising

The impact online life can have on children in kinship care

Although there are many benefits to technology and the internet, there are also potential harms to consider. It can help to think about harms under the 4Cs:

Conduct

This includes harms connected to how young people use technology, like:

• having a negative reputation online
• participating in online bullying or harassment
• sharing personal information
• taking or sharing nude images

Contact

This includes harms connected to inappropriate communication online, like:

• being the victim of:
  • abuse
  • bullying
  • harassment
• grooming
• inappropriate or upsetting online friendships

Content

This includes harms connected to things young people see or hear online, for example:

• adult content (intended for 18+), like:
  • dating services
  • gambling
  • pornography
• content encouraging harmful behaviours, like:
  • eating disorders
  • self-harm
• online hate targeting identity
• unreliable content, like:
  • fake news
  • edited photos and/or videos
  • misinformation
• upsetting content, like:
  • animal abuse images
  • upsetting global events

Commerce

This includes financial online harms, like:

• influencers sharing “sponsored content” (on behalf of brands)
• in-game or -app spending
• online advertising
• phishing or other scams

Remember, the internet and technology can impact children both positively and negatively – it’s normal for their moods to change depending on daily experiences. For example, they might be:

• frustrated after losing a game against their friend
• happy after seeing a funny video

However, being exposed to serious, repeated online harms can impact physical and mental health and wellbeing. Harmful technology use could make children feel:

• anxious
• fearful
• guilty
• hurt
• isolated
• pressured
• shameful

As a result, they could also display challenging or difficult behaviours. If your kinship child is in this situation, we have a guide and offer free training workshops on how to manage it.

How to best support children online

Talk

The best tool to support children you care for to lead safe, positive online lives is open conversation. Show your interest in all aspects of their online life, by:

• keeping conversations broad
• talking about online positives
• valuing the child’s opinion

Let children know what to do if anything online worries, upsets or confuses them, and that they can always talk to you. Make discussions about online life a regular part of your relationship.

If your kinship child mentions something you haven’t heard of, ask them to show you, or explain in more detail.

Support

Supporting children online is easiest once you know about general available support. A child’s school or college is a great place to start, and sharing experiences with other parents and kinship carers can also help.

There’s lots of advice available online, from various organisations and charities.

Report

If something goes wrong online, you may need to escalate it so you and your kinship child can get additional support. You may also want to report what’s happened to their school or college, especially if it involves other children going there.

If you’re worried about online contact from people who shouldn’t contact your kinship child, you can block the person to stop this. Many apps and games let you report other users, as well as content, if it breaks their rules.

If anyone is in immediate risk of harm, phone 999 for urgent help.

If the child you care for confides in you about their online life, try to stay calm and curious rather than furious. Avoid blame or criticism – this could close down conversations if they feel they’re in the wrong, or in trouble. Stay non-judgmental, acknowledge challenges they’ve overcome, and thank them for telling you.

It’s okay if you’re unsure what to do next, but it’s important to let the child know you’re there for them. There’s a lot of further support out there, to help decide next steps.

Tips to start a conversation about life online

A great way to get involved with kinship children’s online lives is by talking – which can feel difficult, especially if you’re not that computer comfortable. These tips can start you off:

Start with the positives

Ask them to tell you what they like online, for example favourite games and videos. This shows your interest, and can be a bridge to cover any worries or concerns either of you have.

Talk about where to get help

Ask them if they know where to go for help, or where to find:

• block features
• privacy settings
• reporting features
• safety advice

It’s also an opportunity to let them know that they can always come to you.

Let them be the expert

Ask them how they stay safe online. What tips do they have, and where did they learn them?  Be open to learn about apps and games they use, let them share what they know, and listen.

Get help, support and advice

General information

• Childnet is a charity helping make the internet a great and safe place for all children and young people. Their website has resources and advice on many online issues.
• Internet matters is an organisation with resources and expert guidance for families and professionals. Their website has detailed information on settings and controls.
• The Family Gaming Database is a website for parents and guardians to navigate online gaming, including detailed reviews and advice on 3000+ video games.
• UK Safer Internet Centre is a partnership with support and services to make the internet safer for everyone. They coordinate the UK’s Safer Internet Day.
• NSPCC is a well-known children’s charity, with a section of their website dedicated to support and advice to keep children safe online.

Reporting harmful content

• Childnet have 2 relevant sections on their website: Get Help and How to make a report.
• CEOP is an advice and reporting tool for online child sexual abuse.
• IWF lets you anonymously report suspected child sexual abuse images and videos.
• Report Remove helps UK under 18s confidentially report and entirely remove sexual images and videos of themselves from the internet.
• You can also report content to the NSPCC, or speak to them about concerns you’re not sure about reporting. Contact them by:
  • calling their advice line – 0808 800 500
  • email – help@nspcc.org.uk
  • filling in their ‘report abuse online’ form

Support from Kinship

Here at Kinship, we offer a range of free support for all kinship carers, including  workshops, online advice and information, and support groups.

To find services, information and support in your local area, including information about your local children’s services, use our Kinship Compass tool.

You can also contact the Kinship advice team for free, non-judgmental advice and information if you live in England or Wales.