This page explores how to recognise the signs and symptoms of trauma, as well as practical tips for supporting children in kinship care.
About life story work
Learn about life story work – what it is, when to consider it, techniques to carry it out (and get support), as well as how it can help kinship children build a positive self-image.
This advice applies to: England
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What is life story work?
Life story work is a therapeutic process that children in kinship care can use to help them understand their personal history, identity, and reasons for their current living arrangements.
Different people use different types of life story work depending on their relationship with the child. For example:
- Kinship carers can help children in their care understand their identity, strengths and place in the family by using creative tasks to have discussions about these topics (more on this below).
- Professional therapeutic life story workers can lead more in-depth life story work, for children to process often difficult and complex pasts in a safe environment. This is called a “psychoanalytical narrative approach”.
About the psychoanalytical narrative approach
This is a way to understand people’s stories and experiences by looking at deeper (often unconscious) meanings behind them. It can be a challenging, potentially triggering process if not supported by a trained therapist.
The impact life story work can have on children in kinship care
Overall, life story work is a valuable tool to support kinship children’s emotional and psychological well-being. It can help them build a positive self-image and navigate their past, present and future more confidently. Key benefits are:
Life story work:
- encourages critical thinking and reflection
- helps children manage new perspectives
Life story work:
- provides a safe space for children to explore and process experiences and feelings
- can help improve emotional regulation, and reduce anxiety
Life story work:
- gives children a sense of control over their narrative
- helps express thoughts/feelings in a structured way
Life story work:
- helps address mental health issues and trauma
- provides additional context to past events
Life story work can help children:
- build new or existing relationships
- manage relationships that matter to them
- navigate challenging or mixed feelings about certain relationships
Life story work supports children to understand personal history and identity, which is crucial for:
- self-esteem
- sense of belonging
Life story work can give children a sense of stability by:
- enhancing children’s sense of:
- belonging
- care consistency
- “permanence” – where they feel safe, loved and part of a family
- helping children make sense of their past
- improving relationships with caregivers
Anyone raised in kinship care, needs (and carries out) ongoing life story work to some degree. If this isn’t properly supported though, children may find it hard to regulate their emotions. This can result in behaviours like:
- aggression
- defiance
- depression
- withdrawal
See our web guide and free training workshop for information and advice on how you can manage challenging behaviour in children you’re caring for.
Carrying out effective, supportive life story work
There’s a kinship care-specific approach to life story work which Kinship has developed in partnership with Dr Paul Shuttleworth. This asks children about their sense of permanence and focuses on what matters to them. It uses a “what matters” approach.
This approach involves:
- creating appropriate spaces for difficult conversations
- considering the meaning of care
- maintaining connections
- recognising children’s strengths and family life realities
- using mindfulness
To carry this out successfully, it’s a good idea to:
- add to, discuss and navigate life stories – not substitute them for pre-existing ideas
- ensure life story work is ongoing – threaded and embedded through a child’s care rather than a one-off piece of work
- ensure life story work is carried out with children and the right people, at the right time and in the right place – it’s timely, not time-driven
- incorporate existing life story work children are already doing into any life story process, rather than starting from scratch
- see life stories as part of “emotional permanence work”. This includes safe and meaningful strategies to keep connections going, like contact/family time (where possible) and using memory shelves, books, and drawers
Life story work tasks and activities
The following helpful life story exploration tools depend on adult capability, the situation, and a child’s development and resilience.
Helping children talk about connection and separation
Your kinship child could:
- make “eco-maps” and family trees of people that matter to them
- show you how they currently keep mementos, and building on this – for example, as found in Katie Wrench’s book Life Story Work, displaying them in:
- ‘all about me’ books
- drawers
- collection files
- memorabilia shelves
- memory boxes
- take you on a tour of things that matter to them
- undertake a photo project of things that matter to them
Helping children talk about care and independence
These activities may help you to talk about care and independence with your kinship child:
Ask children to think about all the things that matter to them and help them feel safe and cared for. This could be hugs, help with homework, playing together or anything else.
Next, get them to draw a wall, made up of individual bricks. On each brick, ask them to write down one of the things they identified in the previous step.
By the end, they should have a “wall” of different things that matter to them, so they feel safe and cared for.
Ask children to draw a hand. Then get them to identify 1 person they feel they can talk to about various things for each finger.
Finally, get them to add each of these people – either their name or a drawing of them – to 1 of the fingers.
Ask children to draw a tree and add a leaf for each thing worrying them.
Discuss each worry with them and try to understand what’s underpinning it. This should help you come up with some themes, which you can add as roots to their tree.
Use the theme of each root to do a “what matters action plan” following the steps below.
They can leave the leaves on the tree or remove them as they wish – just because they might address a worry, doesn’t mean it doesn’t keep worrying them.
On a piece of paper, get your child to draw 4 columns and label them as follows:
- what needs to happen:
- how
- when
- where
- with who
- what’s going well
- what’s worrying
- why it matters
Add each of their worries to a row, getting them to complete each column for each worry.
It’s better for the child to come up with possible solutions, rather than the adult. Children may need time to think about possible solutions, which you can then discuss together.
Helping children talk about how important it is that they (and their lives) are recognised
To help kinship children feel recognised as part of your family, you could:
- ask the child to think about, create, write down and decorate what they think their family motto should be
- carry out creative writing activities, exploring what matters to each child
- create a star (for a door) of the values children feel they have, that matter to them
Get life story work support
Life story work is a collaboration, and it’s not only kinship carers and children who are responsible for it. Most kinship families and children engage with life story work every day, in some way.
Some children may need therapists or practitioners for certain parts of the life story process, particularly if they’re experiencing trauma. The process can also be emotionally difficult for kinship carers to manage, so therapist support may make sense for kinship carers too.
Kinship carers can access professional life story work resources and training, like those provided by social workers and specialised organisations like Creative Life Story Work. There may be funding available for this under section 17 of the Children Act 1989, which says local authorities must provide for children in need. Or there’s the adoption and special guardianship support fund, which offers financial assistance and resources for children previously in local authority care.
Kinship carers can also join local/national support groups and networks to share experiences and get advice from other carers, to develop the tools and knowledge they need to carry out effective life story work.
Useful support resources
You may find these resources useful for further reading about life story work:
- Creative Life Story Work website – with additional events and podcasts
- Faber & Mazlish (2012) – How to talk so kids will listen, and listen so kids will talk
- Shuttleworth (2024) – Incorporating what matters into practice with children in kinship care
- Shuttleworth (to be published in 2025) – Navigating relational spaces: by finding out what matters to children living in kinship care
- Wrench & Naylor (2013) – Life story work with children who are fostered or adopted
Support from Kinship
Here at Kinship, we offer a range of free support for all kinship carers, including workshops, online advice and information, and support groups.
To find services, information and support in your local area, including information about your local children’s services, use our Kinship Compass tool.
You can also contact the Kinship advice team for free, non-judgmental advice and information if you live in England or Wales.
Related advice and information
Learn more about how to understand and manage challenging behaviour in kinship children you care for.
Anxiety is a normal human emotion. But having too much anxiety can cause issues. Here are some practical tips to spot, manage and get support with anxiety.
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